My life sucks right now.
boo

My family and I got a dog today and it is so fucking bittersweet.
It was awesome at the shelter visiting her and doing paperwork and the ride home, we finally had a dog again.
Now we're home, and it's like the cats will never be okay. Chloe is missing, I cant find her anywhere in the house, the lanai, or outside. She probably is out in the neighborhood or something, its pouring rain and she hates the rain, and I did this to her. She is seriously like a child to me, if I can't find her before I go to sleep, no sleeping will be done.
The dog is supposed to sleep in my parents room but it's scratching on the door to get out, looking for the cats, it was barking at one point, and my poor mom is up at 3 fucking am and she doesn't know what to do. I offered to take the dog but we dont want to risk it at the slight chance chloe is hiding in here, a confrontation would be awful. 
I'm let down. I miss Nikki, she was perfect in everyway except my Dad didn't like her. I feel as though no dog will ever be good enough for me after having her.
I miss Chloe, I'm serious. When I go someplace for the night I think about her because shes always in my room when I read or go on the computer and then we go to sleep and shes right next to my head. I feel like a fucking shitass mother, I can't believe I did this to her.
I know I should have faith in Dakota, but I seriously don't want to get attached because I feel like she won't be here long. A bunch of people have told me it doesn't work taking a dog into a house that already has cats and maybe they're right. Nikki was here first and the cats got used to it. This dog is twice Nikki's size and has twice the amount of energy. I'm rambling. I'm upset. I want to cry but I'm cried out. One of the worst cries of the day was taking out the dog brushes and it still had Nikki's hair in it. I mean duh we haven't used them since then, but it's depressing. It was one of those cries where the tears don't even well up in your eyes...the just fall out because they're so plentiful. Jonni thought I was crying because Krista is a psycho, and she is, but to see a part of Nikki when Nikki isn't here sucked. I can't believe I'm feeling so much pain and grief and misery over a dog, but she was more than a dog, she was my family.

I didn't get my period last month and I still haven't gotten it.
I can't be a mother.
I'm 18 fucking years old.

I'm failing my math class I'm pretty sure, I got my first F ever in college on a test, she told me that the final exam grade can replace this one so I guess this is fixable but I'm dissappointed with the way I threw school and homework out the window when I went to NY.

If you actually have read this assload of word vomit, props to you. I'm exhausted and I'm feeling so much all at once. I want Chloe to come in and lay next to me and snuggle. But I don't even know where she is. I guess sorry to Shaena and Kayla if I was a grouch tonight, if you didn't read this basically my life fucking sucks right now.

My life was fine until December 8th 2006.
I don't understand death and I don't think I ever will.
Why did she have to go

I MISS JONNI ALREADY 
AND IM STILL HERE
WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH =(

can I just say that I love ybor?
Like everything about it?
I want to eat sleep breathe live taste ybor?
is that normal?
is that healthy?
oh well.
peace

oh man
not that I want to, but I can't shake this feeling
this amazing happy wonderful AWESOME feeling.

So I got in a car accident yesterday.
and it wasn't my fault.
I was driving in Nokomis thru the construction and the person in front of me started braking and I started braking and the car behind me did not and was too close and slammed into me with their big suv ass and then the car behind them slammed into them and my car got pushed into the car in front of me and there was no damage, except for a scratch on the license plate. Like wtf? The girl was real cool and she wanted to leave but the highway patrol made her call her Dad and he wanted to file a report. ASSHOLE. So I got a ticket? But basically everything about it is unfair so my Dad is getting a lawyer tomarrow and we're fighting it bitchhhhhh. AND IMA GONNA WIN.
but seriously, tell me where you see damage on this car, the car I hit.
CAUSE I DON'T SEE SHIT.
and I don't have a good picture of my whole car but look at my poor little license plate =(
THANKS JEEP

You think you can do this and get away with it?
Well I will find you
and fucking kill you. Or let my sister kill you.
You already made a mistake and left a little something behind. 
sucks for you.

If you have a problem with me, take it up with me , don't you fucking mess with my family.

I am so in love with my husband chris carrabba.

and im sitting here in a beautiful disney resort with two of my best friends singing I missed the bus.

tonight was THE BEST night of my summer. HANDS DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!ooh I'm so witty.

DEAR VODKA
AFTER LAST NIGHTS FOURTH OF JULY FESTIVITIES
WE AREN'T FRIENDS ANYMORE
YOU ARE OFF MY LIST WITH JOSE CUERVO.
YOU MAKE ME SICK.

so ive come to the conclusion that after hitting so many things so hard without a dent, my car is AMAZING.


p.s.
looks like we made it    =)



P.S.S. TODAY COULD NOT BE BETTER
BECAUSE MY FRIENDS, MAE IS COMING IN AUGUSTTTTTTTTTTT
IM GONNA SHIT PANTS

last night was good
we all crashed at jades
i drank cosmos and white russians
doug and i slept in the most comfortable bed EVER
and we got to play with the chinchillas, cats, and pigs.
this is the life.

i have the best times with the best friends and i wouldnt trade it for the world.

this is the tom green show.
it's not the green tom show.

does it creep anyone else out that we have the same first and middle name and the exact same birthday adn that we both love our friends and animals and have a sense of humor?

today i jumped off a bridge.

if you jump i jump.

i wish i didnt get sick all the time.

have you ever felt like theres so much wrong but everything's perfect?

I'm not complaining. for now, life is good.

saying dont worry
about a thing
cause every little thing.. is gonna be alright


ohhhhhhhhh bob marley